"I knew who I was this morning, but I've changed a few times since then." As I was cleaning out my closet this morning, getting ready for our move, I ran across an old book that my husband purchased at an estate sale. One of his many "collections", is old books. Which I love. This one was one of Lewis Carroll's, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland & Through the Looking Glass. Just thumbing through it, that is the line I came across.
I mean, truly, who am I? I thought I knew at 25. Then at 35, I was a totally different person. At 45, no where near who I was at 35. And, funny, at each age, I was doing entirely different things from nursing to sales to legal, my careers were all over the place. Then I became the "Fairy Godmother". I think, if I am honest with myself, I have always been the Fairy Godmother...well, in my mind at least. I embarked on a business of giving sweet, darling little girls a fairytale dream of tea parties, dressing up and pretending. I mean, I got to wear a tiara for gosh sakes!
But now, as I am retiring said tiara, who am I? Who will I be? Who am I really? The Fairy Godfarmer? Really? What the heck is that? Will I be a good one? Can I handle this new dream, this new life, this new challenge? And, I think...Yes. Yes I can. Yes I will. I mean, sure, I've changed a few times since I was 25, 35, 45, and I loved each and every change. Because, it made me who I am now. I know that somehow, we become what we think, what we think we are, and what we think about. Ralph Waldo Emerson said "the only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be." So, it's settled. Today, here and now, I've decided that this is who I am, at 53...the Fairy Godfarmer. And...I'm keeping the dang tiara.